Weekend breaks...and spillages

I've been away for the weekend - to the holiday home of the holiday home, so to speak. We went to the house with the cake and i got a big fuss as usual - even from the SBD which seemed quite interested in me. How i ever thought it was a C-A-T i don't know. I just sat there minding my own business and it kept sidling up to me and even sniffed my paw on one occasion. Actually, i thought it was a bit beneath me to encourage it so i just ignored it for the whole time....what SBD, i didn't see an SBD.
Any way I was allowed to sleep in TOWFM's room which was a bit confusing in the morning as i couldn't sort out what i was supposed to do....so i went and did my puppy-in-the-mouth talkysingy bit in the room which once had a cat in and got them up instead. And then, when they all went out they didn't close any of the doors so i spent the morning lying in the sun on the couch. I might not have got any cake this time but all in all i liked it there.
I've been in the doghouse here a bit today - i spent the morning in the car then came in all crunkly-eared-and-funny-walked when i heard that lunch was ready and thought i'd treat them to a few squeaks on my longtennisballthing so i gave it a scrawp to get it out from behind my waterbowl and.........you've probably guessed what happened so i left the scene quickly whilst TOWFM and the-one-who-like-me-has-no-sticks cleared it up. Then later on we went to see the gabrielleandandrew (really don't know what one of those is) in the volvo-with-the-back-folded-down and whilst we were there at the farm i saw a cat so really told it what for from inside the car. Couldn't really understand why TOWFM and TOWLMHNS were laughing so much in the front of the car so i gave them an extra special evil eye.
They've got my radiator on now so i might even spend some time in my bed this week...or maybe not.............

Take one doj, a bathmat and a peasant.......

Just been for a trip round the lounge floor on my bathmat with blogassistant #1 pulling me and me getting some really good squeaks out of my longtennisballthing...and i've just proved that i am intelligent (for get about what TOWGMMB says about only being intelligent-looking) by unrolling the mat and getting my thingballtennislong out. Actually despite trying for nearly a week i've still not managed to get the squeak out of my toy.
Any way i've just been extinguished for the first time tonight, whatever that means (it means you've been put out, Tara) having had my M and i'm now settled down in front of the fire getting nicely toasted. Oh, there's my peasant, must just have a chew of that before i get back to the serious business of blogging. Where was i? oh yes...these bathmats are really good multi-purpose things...the only soft bit on the floor downstairs to lie on (except my bed, but i'm not going on that unless they give me a bikker), excellent for skating round the floor, really good for a shakey-kill and not bad for scrawping either.
Oh, there's my peasant again! Behaving in a manner which means it needs another good chew and probably a shake too...
We're off to the House with the Cake and the SBD tomorrow so i'll see if i can evict the Silver Surfer off his perch to make way for the Black Blogger and an outside broadcast....wonder if the-one-who-thinks-the-SBD-needs-protection-from-me (NO WAY! I need protection from him!) has made my cake yet........

Tara 1, Skateboards 0

Had a few problems with the stairs here yesterday, possibly because i'm a bit stiff after a long(ish) slow walk. This is how i normally come downstairs (missing the penultimate step of course)

But yesterday I was a bit stiff having spent the evening in the room i share with TOWFM and slipped on the top step then sort of glided all the way down. Got quite a reception committee at the bottom but don't think i'll try it again. Actually, it's been quite good going for walks today an yesterday as we go out in the volvo then TOWFM and the-one-who-now-only-has-one-stick and i walk SLOWLY back, so they don't keep making comments about old ladies. On today's walk I even found some lovely blackberries to browse - i'm partial to a bit of soft fruit even if it does come with thorns, leaves and bits of twig. I got a bit worried when my new squeaker (sort of an elongated tennis-ball) went in the ditch under the nettles and brambles - and they expected me to go down and get ti out! Do they think i'm some kind of retriever? Anyway, TOWFM finally abseiled down with TOWNOHOS's stick and managed to get it out - i did my impression of a lert and so was very helpful, as usual.

I've heard a rumour that we're going to the cake house next weekend, i do hope it's true as they never feed me here.........

Tara 1, Rubbish bin 0 (scraps, that is)

I hear Mum and the Boss have gone to yellowstone national park - not to be outdone i've been in yellowcar on thedrive today and i'm sure where they've gone can't be as comfy as where i've been. Not sure where the volvo has gone but it did come back this afternoon with the-one-who-still-needs-two-sticks in it so i went dutifully out with my puppy in my mouth (they think its a penguin but i know better) and did my oh-its-you-greeting-song-and-dance then headed back in as it was a bit cold (but not before i'd done a big wee right next to the step).
We've had steak for tea tonight so i made sure i sat up properly and paid attention and YES!!!!! it paid off and i got a lovely piece of fatty gristle plus a rather meagre portion of real meat. Not bad i suppose but i'd rather have had more so i've been emitting in TOWFM's bedroom all this evening in retaliation.
I've also set out to capture the market every aspiring celebrity wants......no, not the States (i'll leave that to Mum & the Boss), I mean Trowbridge. Apparently the taradogblog has been starring in the trowbridge information centre and TOWFM (i think i'll call him my agent from now on) has been explaining to the other inhabitants all about who i am and what i do (you do nothing ,Tara - Blogassistant #1) so i'm widening my appeal a bit. What i want to know is when i start to get more food as a reward.
They keep referring to me as O.I.B (short for Old Iron Bladder, Tara - Blogassistant #1) after the day last week when they all went out quite early and the gabrielle came round at lunctime to 'see to me' (whatever that means). Well, apparently she sneaked on me and told them that though i'd been in the house (asleep, i might add) all morning on my own i didn't want a wee when i was let out. I think she was quite disappointed - but They were clearly impressed when i held on all afternoon too until TOWFM came home. It's not all old ladies who are incontinent, you know.
Right, it's countdown to M time now so i'd better start pesterating.....

Tara 2, Live and vicious towels 0

The-one-who-gives-me-my-breakfast has just said 'if i smelt as bad as you i'd be homeless' - well, if i grumped as bad a him i'd be homeless. Before he gets into more abuse (something about the hair on the bottom of my feet being white) i'll just recount my day to you as its been rather a good one.

06:30 - started the ecomony barks to get them (not TOWFM) out of bed then can upstairs to be ready to explode with my best singy/talky/patheticwimpy display.
06:45 - TOWGMMB emerges and we go downstairs for brekker and a wee (in that order). I ALWAYS have to avoid the second to bottom step with my back legs as i bunny-hop down - don't know why, just a habit to keep them amused really.
06:46 - outside and i manage to sneak off to next door so that TOWGMMB has to come outside in his jarms to get me back. He thinks it's not a good start to the day, i think it's great.
07:00 - upstairs to lurk outside TOWFM's room ready to explode when i see the slightest movement .......and sure enough at
08:15 - TOWFM moves and i assume the invasion position ready to wag my tale so hard it knocks a few cars off the shelves and i do my award-winning singy/talky/extrapateticwimpy noises, culminating in the slightly muffled version as i pick up the pack of cards that keeps the door open. Action then over until....
08:30 - breakfast! Well, their's not mine but if i concentrate hard enough i usually get the milky dregs (i soooooo love milky dregs!) from TOWFM's cereal bowl.
09:00 - TOWFM and TOWGMMB leave in the volvo....without me! So i take up my usual position in the sun on the drive until
11:00 - that lovely postman comes and gives me a biscuit after which i sit back down in the drive until...
12:30 - when the volvo comes back and i hop in until...
16:30 - when we go and collect TOWFM.
17:00 - arrive back and after i realise they've left me in the car and a few barks to remind them we have a great time running round the back garden with my plastic bottles until at.....
17:20 - they tell me to get my collar (which i do, just to humour them) and we're off for a W before T. Do some fwimming and comeback to have my tea and then attack and kill the towels they use to dry me with.
18:30 - we come in for tea (their's not mine) and i attack the towels all over again just after TOWFM has folded them up nicely in the conservatory. Did you know that i can get both in my mouth and one go and create havoc (whatever that is) giving then a good shake?
18:35 - give my bed a REALLY good scrawp so it's now unusable until someone sorts it out for me
18:45 - tea..........still waiting for my titbits but its now
19:50 - and none have appeared. I can WAIT.......

Tara 1, Titbits 0 ....yet

MMMMMMMM....just had tortillas and austrian cheese for my tea-titbits - delicious! It's a good job there are such highlights as i'm a but puzzled about what TOWFM is up to as he cuts it really fine to get home in time for my tea. He's also been going out with one of those dangly-things round his neck like the Boss wears and smearing sticky stuff on his hair.....well i have a red dangly thing which goes round my neck (at least, it's dangly until i see a damnation) but not tried the sticky stuff yet.....wonder if it's the humanj version of rolling in a lovely bit of fox-poo?
I really wish they'd make up their mind here; we went out to do something in the car this evening (for me, that something is getting in the back) and before i knew it they'd finished and wanted me to get out again. Well i wasn't having any of that so i did my pathetic-old-dog routine i always pull on Mum to get a lift out of the passatboot and into the volvoboot (works without fail!) but then managed to negotiate a bikker to tempt me out (as TOWFM is too feak and weeble to lift me out anyway) - i'm not as daft as i look, you know. Mind you, i did hear some comments about being agile enough to jump in one minute than too decrepit to jump out the next.
Remind me to tell you about the second to bottom step on the stairs next time....must go now as the table is being cleared so i need to be at my most appealing (and slobbery, says Blogassistant #2)

Tara 0, Papparazzi 1

MMMMMMMM....i'm too sexy for my punj, too sexy for my punj....Oh, there you are! Just having a little hum to myself (you're always humming Tara). What a day! All sorts of things going on. The Boss must have been expecting a bit of bother getting to the holiday home as he had to put his combat gear on and he was so well-camouflaged i kept losing him on the grass. Any way, we gt here without much trouble and i was so relieved i had an extra shouty-greeting-party for all, puppy in mouth the lot! Then when the Boss had gone i discovered the stock of plashtic bottles and made a huge amount of noise scrunching them.

Went for a stroll round the garden this afternoon - very slowly as the one-who-has-a-big-grey-plastic-thing-on-her-foot (NOT a sock!) doesn't seem to get much speed up with those snazzy purple sticks; i've tried to tell her that What Stick? recommends a more mainstream colour for better resale value, and that it's performance not looks that matters but she doesn't listen to me. Just like nobobby listens to me when i tell them i'm hungry....mind you there are some nice hawthorn berries on the tree just at doj level and i can usually manage a sneak a mouthful of those if i check no-one's looking......

I'm just going to make myself scarce for a few minutes as TOWFM has just caused an accident (wine all over the floor!) and i KNOW i'll get shouted at if i move anywhere remotely in the direction of the accident. Think i'll take TOWFM out with me for a bark at the cows as he could probably do with making himself scarce too.