Tara 0, Trumpets 1 (too many)

I hardly dare show my face this week...well actually you can't see my face from some angles as THEY have rigged me up with some kind of plastic trumpet, tied on with a bitof rag round my neck (i thought that was what my Royal Artillery collar was for). Not impressed at all, I have to say - soooo embarrasing, but my 'public' appear to think the trumpet is very fetching (i know what that means now and it's got nothing to do with sticks - good job too as i can't get sticks in at the moment) and i get extra pats when i'm out on a walk. First of all THEY give me a quick shave on the cheek (on that itchy bit i so enjoyed scratching), then the trumpet, then salty stuff on it twice a day (managed to get an extra bikker after each do, though). I thought I could persuade the lot at the holiday home to take it off but there has obviously been a CONSPIRACY and though I gave them the evil eye, there were no takers. I'm getting my own back a bit though as I can scoop up some verrrrrry interested stuff whilst on walks (got a slug today!) and really annoy the one-who-is-ever-more-frequently-under-the-bath who has to wipe it off. Actually, I tried to get my head under the bath too but the trumpet started making some scraping sounds and I got shouted at by TOWIEMFUTB.
Mind you, the itchy bit isn't really itchy anymore and the white fluffy stuff looks quite fetching.....maybe if i look appealingly at Mum tomorrow she'll take it off.....

Tara 1, Potato 0

Not been able to blog this last week or so as I've been needed at home - Mum & the Boss didn't go gallivanting after all so I needed to be there to look after them. Oh the responsbility of having dependents!
Back here yesterday and came straight in, grabbed a slipper and upstairs to find the-one-who-has-banned-me-from-his-bedroom but he wasn't there so I had to make do with the-one-who's-back-with-his-head-under-the-bath (different bathroom this time, though) until we went on a lovely volvo-trip to collect TOWHBMFHB. I aim to be a bit stand-offish when we pick other humanjs up - it's just not the done thing to get all excitied and crinckley-eared in public.
Had a lovely walk-cum-snack - couldn't find my stick so just grabbed a potato off the compost heap and had to make do with that for the walk - then ate it when i got back (these things are just no good the day after). Actually, I think i might like to be a compost heap when i get reincarnated - all that lovely grass and vegetables (i could cut out the middleman/cow too).
They keep telling me i'm set in my ways (anyone would think i'm old) - can i help it if a greater force than me impells me into the bedroom of the one-who-gets-up-VERY-early and the-one who-chauffeurs-me, makes me go round the far side of the bed, leap theatrically on a slipper then bring it back (with sound effects) round for the-one-who-as-we-speak-is-putting-scraps-in-my-bowl (maybe he's worth paying some attention to afterall)?
They had the fire on here last night so i'm taking up pole position now just in case......

Tara 1, Stickpinchers 1 (but sent off)

Well that interloper has been at it again - making comments on my blog! That muppety-thing has been casting aspertions about me to that SBD i met at the weekend - no wonder he was a bit cheeky. Good job i made that muppety thing stay in the greenhouse all day, that will teach it!
Not much time or energy to blog tonight as TOWFM has taken me for three walks today - i got so excited that i forgot to do the final fieldtest on my new stick and now appear to have more to choose from which have appeared on the lawn...maybe i need to do a group test! I found a lovely one which the-one-who-slashes-and-burns cut down yesterday but as it is about five feet long i did have a bit of difficulty getting it past the bin and onto the patio. Had a bit of a wrestle with the man-at-the-top-of-the-road as well when he tried to help himself to MY stick as that one was my favourite!
Had my milk, my burp, a nibble of my leg and a good stretch so i think it's tme for my beauty sleep as i need to get TOWFM up earlier tomorrow ready for school - is he deserting me again......

Tara 1, sticks (not enough)

I'm not completely stupid, you know. Now that TOWFM has re-entered, I've worked out I no longer need to pester the ones-who-have-my-morning-slipper for my breakfast and can just get on with waking him up and getting him out of his pit (well, actually it's not a pit - it's up near the ceiling but you know what I mean). I think he might have forgotten the routine though, because it took me more than a few goes and assistance from the-one-who's-beard-appears-to-be-getting-shorter-rather-than-longer (I'm still winning in the white hair stakes though) to get him up.
I'm running in my new stick at the moment - if you don't run them in then I've read in 'What Stick?' magazine (comes out every month and comprehensively reviews all the new sticks on the market) that a little warning light pops up, so I'll have to treat it carefully for the first few walks - no chewing either, that invalidates the warranty! Taking it in the water is only limited to particularly muddy spots, but this particular make and model (the Erlestoke 2000 Sport) seems to malfunction and float off down the stream with me in hot pursuit.
I'm doing a bit of research on human behaviour at the moment and what I can't understand is why when you step on them by mistake they don't go all submissive like we dojes do - to test this i managed to strategically place my foot under the clodhopper of TOWFM and did the usual routine when the inevitable happened. Then, when I trod on him a little while later, he didn't seem to play the game by the same rules. So I'm just going to have to ignore the label they have so kindly placed on my head (I do so like a bit of decoration) and stare at them for even longer during the course of the evening to see if I can figure these humans out.....

Tara 1, Doppelganger 1

More people here yesterday but they didn't make much of a fuss of me so in the end i just ignored them (and emitted the odd smell or two in a vain attempt to make myself more attractive).
Today's been great - just my sort of day! Trip in the volvo, big walk, TWO bikkers when i got back, sitting in the sun in the garden all afternoon, tea, then weisswurst, spatzle and green beans for afters (well, i only got the weisswurst skins and about three individual spatzle but who's counting). I was so hungry after my walk that i forgot i usually get a second scoop of food and started eating after the first one - TOWFM thought that was very funny so i might do it again sometime.
When we got out of the car to start the walk i saw two nice friendly labradogs coming towards me - ony when they got closer did I see that the second one was me! Well, not quite me but i did think it might be my long lost sister; the-one-who-gives-me-carrots even compared the number of grey hairs on us and found out that the other me was a year older (so can't be from the same litter, though it took TOWFM a couple of minutes to work that one out). Ha, Ha! so off for a walk in the woods and across the meadow with spring in my step. Found a lovely long stick - well it was much shorter by the time we got back to the car as it was rather tasty. Must remember next time not to run, chew and pant at the same time - they kept saying something about 'retching' but i don't know what that means.
I've been pacing myself this afternoon - thought i'd try a bit of posing on the lawn in the sun whilst the one-who-gives-me-scraps-after-tea was bulding himself a dug out ready for goodness knows what. Bet there will be some nice catp** in there tomorrow.

Tara 1, SBD 1

What a day yesterday - a lovely long car journey then back at that place where they leave lemon cakes for me to eat! Actually didn't manage to get any this time, but dropped LOADS of hints by standing near the dog-bowl they keep the cake in (must be a dog bowl, being that close to the floor) and making very loud sniffing noises. Nothing in the room with the closed door this time but found out what's been missing here......it's the-one-who-feeds-me! He'd been hiding there - anyway as he didn't seem to control the food at that place i didn't give him too much of a welcome in case he got ideas, just enough to hedge my bets for when we got back here.
Real excitement a bit later on when the back door was opened and there was a cat! They tried to tell me it was a small black dog but i barked anyway and it retreated a few paces. Satisfied i'd sent it off i settled down only to find that later on it was back, cheeky thing - so maybe it was an SBD after all. Decided to keep my eye on it, though they shut the glass door between us, and it seemed to have three heads and two tails, then four tails and two heads! Wow, must have been somthing in the sausage i had for lunch. They've told me this morning that it was the glass that was funny but i don't believe them - it must have been the sausage or the SBD as it didn't run off later on when I saw it and even settled down right under my nose. Certainly can't have been a cat as i'd have sent it off if it had been, wouldn't i.
Been out for a nice swim this morning - got them fooled into thinking i wasn't going then at the last minute made a dash for it....ah, such simple beings Humanjs, it never fails!