Tara 0, Trumpets 1 (too many)

I hardly dare show my face this week...well actually you can't see my face from some angles as THEY have rigged me up with some kind of plastic trumpet, tied on with a bitof rag round my neck (i thought that was what my Royal Artillery collar was for). Not impressed at all, I have to say - soooo embarrasing, but my 'public' appear to think the trumpet is very fetching (i know what that means now and it's got nothing to do with sticks - good job too as i can't get sticks in at the moment) and i get extra pats when i'm out on a walk. First of all THEY give me a quick shave on the cheek (on that itchy bit i so enjoyed scratching), then the trumpet, then salty stuff on it twice a day (managed to get an extra bikker after each do, though). I thought I could persuade the lot at the holiday home to take it off but there has obviously been a CONSPIRACY and though I gave them the evil eye, there were no takers. I'm getting my own back a bit though as I can scoop up some verrrrrry interested stuff whilst on walks (got a slug today!) and really annoy the one-who-is-ever-more-frequently-under-the-bath who has to wipe it off. Actually, I tried to get my head under the bath too but the trumpet started making some scraping sounds and I got shouted at by TOWIEMFUTB.
Mind you, the itchy bit isn't really itchy anymore and the white fluffy stuff looks quite fetching.....maybe if i look appealingly at Mum tomorrow she'll take it off.....