Another day in the life of.......

and believe me, the fact that there is another day is very important when you get to my age. Or when you get to the age Mum thinks I am (i'm going to add an extra 7.6923% to her age when anyone next asks me). Guess what, it's monday

Very, very, early - get woken up and loaded into theaudi with all the rest of the tut Pte Sector seems to cart about with him. He's even taken to loading in plants now. Why he can't just make do with a red crate, bikkers, squirt, earsquirt, towels (when the holiday hoe people aren't hoarding them, that is) and a duvet, i don't know.

Very early - get transferred into thulupo (they get it out of Pod 4 you know, Mr Tracey) and settle down for a bit of kip

Early - in fact it's so early TOWFM and TOWTVETOHAY haven't gone yet so i have to delay my usual routine to do a bit of meeting and greeting

Normal time - go on patrol, following the usual circuit, rummage around in the long grass near the brook, eat a bit of catpoo, come round the side of the house to check on the bird food and bark to come in at the front door (just to keep the GM on his toes)

Working day - sleep

T minus 1 - go on permalert for TOWFM coming home, but YET AGAIN he goes straight out in acleo with a hat on the roof. If the L stands for lert then i really deserve one as i seem to spend the whole bloody afternoon being alert.

T minus 1 - go on permalert for TOWFM coming home

T minus 24 - two scoops, a little scoop and a bit of squirt (yummy, my favourite)

T - minus 23hrs 59 mins - burp and go upstairs to sit on the warm pipes & sleep

T minus 23 - i remember that M comes before T

M minus 3 - TOWTVETOHAY comes home and sneaks up on me. Come downstairs, stopping twice for a scroach and to arrange my ears in a fancy crunkly pattern

M minus 1 min - actually, don't i usually have Breakfast in the morning as well?

B minus 10 - M arrives, drink it, get stinguished, have another burp, sit on my rug and moan a bit, fart, walk clockwise round the table to get into the launch position for the couch, wait until begged to get on the couch, fart, leap on and settle down for some sleep, fart again

B minus too long - where is my breakfast anyway......

Tara 1, Tick 1

I've got a Tick! It's got six legs, a nasty looking mouth with red fangs........and it squeaks and has TICK written across it's back. Those legs flap around all over the place when i'm carrying it about but it keeps the natives amused so i can't complain. Only problem is i never know if they want me to bring my stick or my tick!
And talking of natives i've been having a constant battle with the heifers in the field next door as they keep hanging over the fence near my birdfood. In fact i had to show them what for this evening on my W and do several snarly-steggy-growly- runs at them to get them out of my personal space. And then one of them had the cheek to approach me from behind whilst i was doing a wee so i showed that what for too. After thoroughly sorting them out, i walked nonchalantly across the field to the stile (stopping for a 'circle' when out of their reach) and whilst i was having a smiff before ducking under, one ran up and licked my tail. I made sure i did a big snarly at that one when i came back across.
They tell me i'm going home at the end of the week, so i should have really sorted out those heifers by then................

I played a April Fools prank on GM today....i pretended i wasn't going to wander off then i did, twice! I've really got this down to a fine art and always wait until he's just sat down to lunch before sloping off to the bit of lawn across the road. And then when i came back (of my own accord, despite what the GM has said i didn't need bringing back) there were two labrodojs in the field next door being followed by about 500 heifers so i had a really good bark until the heifers were running all over the place.
It was nice and sunny here so i installed myself on the front lawn to wait for TOWFM to come home, which he did after ages (that's because you went outside at one o'clock, Tara and he doesn't get home until just before five - blogmitarbeiter #1) then went straight out in a strange car immediately. I was so cheesed off i went and skulked in my bed.
Then when the-one-with-two-volvos came home she snuk into the house without me noticing and when i realised the car was there and went to bark at the drivers door i felt a bit of a fool when she appeared from inside the house.
We are nice and warm here now with....radiators, a warm stove and plenty of sticks inside the house. Actually we spent sunday morning chopping logs and i did my best to clear up the little bits which fall off though for some reason they kept stopping me and moving me out of the way (and if we hadn't how would we have explained that one to Mum and Pte Sector?)
I've got guests this weekend so i'm catching up on mysleep now. The one-with-two-volvos thinks they are coming to see her but i know i'm going to be the star of my show as i'm still the oldest girl around here..........