The F-Word, the S-Word and the P-word

I've got a few personal hygiene problems at the moment and I've finally admitted to Mum that I have a few hitch-hikers (i don't like to use the F-Word but let's just say my new nickname at the holiday home is Fleab). But i've given them their marching orders and been extra punj to scare them off so here's hoping.............

And then there's S-Word - well, actually it's the G-word first then the S-word usually in the middle of the night usually after eating too much G. I just can't understand why the-one-who-chases-me-down-the-garden-in-her-nightie-in-the-middle-of-the-night gets so upset when she finally come down to let me out (after i've done the morse code signals on the wooden floor so they know it's an S alert not just a demand for company) and i go out of the front door round the side to the spot half way down the back garden where the S belongs...and what's wrong with recycling anyway?

I've decided that i really need to do some succession planning (see, i do listen to what Mum says) so i've set TOWFM off on a reccy to those Ps at the farm

Bet you can't tell which one's me and which one's the puppy!