Defector! or is that defective.......

So, where is he? I’ve been here since very early this morning (when I finally got Private Sector up and going) and he wasn’t here (I checked he wasn’t still in bed but as that was folded up he’d be hard-pushed to hide in there for very long). Now it’s going dark and he’s still not here so all that wandering about aimlessly all day has done no good at all. I’m staking out his bedroom but so far no luck. Even jettisoning a bit of mid-morning snack didn’t help though I did get some sympathy from the GM. He’s not gone to indiot without me has he? Oh, they’ve just told me he’s at the house with the cake and the SBD doing some painting. I’m outraged to hear the SBD has got itself nicely ensconced in TOWFM’s suitcase and can’t be shifted……I’m not even allowed on the bed and have to fight to get even a teency-weency bit of couch when that italianblokeonaboat is on the Thing they watch. Do you know I wasn’t allowed to go fimming last week as punishment for scratching the scabbybit on my face and blodginging a bit of blood on TOWFM’s new carpet. TOWFM said it was to prevent me being trumpeted again but I know it was punishment. So I sulked for the rest of the day.It's obviously much less dangerous down here now as Private Sector didn’t need his camouflage to get me here safely. I hear Mum and Private Sector are having a pearl this week so we’ve done a bit of celebrating – why they had to dig up the garden to do so I’ve no idea and I had to wait till the holiday home to find a bit of grass to do a big p**h on (embarrassed Private Sector nicely though). What is a pearl anyway – can you eat it? They’ve bought me a very nice new piece of kit to do my blog on – but I’ve not been allowed a look in yet. Bet none of the other dojs and other unalleviated canines round here have such a staytovtheart ultra-paw-table (love to get my paws on the table). Oh….more reason to sulk – they’ve just told me it’s not mine at all, I still have to use the old black noisy thing (sounds like you Tara, interim blogassistant). Come back TOWFM, all is forgiven......
Tonight I've been M'd but am resisting being extinguished as it's raining very hard so i've switched to iron-bladder mode for the night....and anyway i've been in and out so much in the rain and after the rain that i've used up my supply of towels. Now where was that TOWFM-nappy i used to play with.....