Savaging swans and stegging

No, the first isn't a swear word, just what i've been doing for the last few minutes in retribution for not being allowed to go and sit in the car all day. That's the third bit of retribution i've had to do actually - when they wouldn't let me in the car just before lunch i had to wander off to two-doors-down just as they were about to sit down to eat and then when the-one-with-more-of-a-limp-than-me and TOWFMMB came back in the car a few minutes ago i greeted them with a really good steg - don't know what a steg is? its something humnajs don't seem to be able to do, i do it when i'm trying to look fierce and agressive and it makes by hair stand on end.
Being valeted pretty often at the moment as i'v got gunkyyear (whatever that it) but i know its going to happen again when TOWMOALTM gets the funny gloves on and TOWFM makes me sit down in the scullery. I;m so generous i always reward them with a singydancydisplay even though i don't really like being valeted.
I got an email this week - just chased it round the field until it got tired and gave in. Actually i'm lying - i've no idea what an email is but they told me i'd got one. I hope it doesn't mean extra valeting.