Tara's Top Tips for a Dog-tastic Dotage

Apparently i'm in my dotage - i thought i was in my bed actually but if it's now called a dotage that's fine by me as long as my extra-snuggly-quilt is in there along with the bikker and markie crumbs which i hoover up at the end of the day.

TIP 1 - conserve your energy. Why bother to go upstairs (i don't anymore) when standing at the bottom and barking slowly but monotonously always brings them down in the end. This is especially effective when the GM is decorating (nice 'petticoat' paint on my tail now).

TIP 2 - weight-bearing exercise is good for the bones. Do about twenty press-ups a day, getting your back firmly against the radiator, feet wedged in the front of the the dotage and aim to move the dotage across the hall towards the wine cellar door before the evening rush hour starts. If you can get the snuggly-quilt to cover any remaining gaps, all the better.

TIP 3 - ignore the teenagers who come in late at night passed but make sure you take the opportunity to get a bikker without the associated stinguish even when you've just had one from the GM and the-one-with-only-a-grey-volvo-this-week.

TIP 4 - make sure you're in control of the ambient aroma. Cabbage is always a good one to drop at any time of day or night.

TIP 5 - always look accusingly at someone else if there is a cabbage smell about. And if possible get up and move away.

TIP 6 - when it's cold outside, don't bother rolling around on the grass snortling, do it on the couch instead. Then make sure you sit up and stare accusungly at anyone who is sitting on the other couch.

TIP 7 - don't sleep in a room with Corey. He snores worse than i do.

Oh - need to get ready to look pathetically at TOWFM as he's off on another night out at the pub and not taking me.........

Pissed

I'm here for the duration again as Mum and Pte Sector have gone to see my mibia - what is a mibia anyway and if i've got one why isn't it here with me? Oh.......the-one-with-no-volvos-this-week has just told me that it's not my mibia it's nam -ibia.......it that near chip-nam because if it is i'm surprised at Mum going there on holiday when she's been exiled there all week. And of course i can hear properly, i just wasn't paying attention as i was concentrating too much on making sure my big bag of food went in the car.
TOWFM has pissed today....oh, that's passed, apparently (again, nothing to do with being deaf, just wasn't paying attention) and he'll soon be posted onto doj-drop duties in Nam. We are just thinking what he's going to call his car, but there no truth in the rumour that he's calling it Tara (there better not be!).
I've been stinguished alreday now it's time to pester for my M as TOWFM is still emailing everyone on the internet to tell them he's pissed....oh, alright then, PASSED

White stiff, black dojs and weaklings

I bet no-one has been able to see me this week as i've been so well camouflaged (didn't know you were the same blue-pattern as your new quilt, Tara - blogsnowman #1) and it has been a bit tricky getting out, doing a wee and getting back in before i got too cold but i did manage to get to the end of the path. (Yes Tara, just a shame that it was four am when you did it - blognightshift #only)




















Then of course we had to make a snowman so TOWFM and i went and made round white things in the garden but TOWFM is a bit of a weakling and definitely can't manipulate his noball as good as what i can. I can move mine with just a flip of my head whilst he needs shoulders etc to get it to move very slightly. These humanjs just don't have the application or the highly-honed skills that we dojs have.

So all in all a very tiring few days - good job i've got my new snuggly to kip in.....