Tara 1, TOWFM's face 0

Well they've finally learned - when i stand by the patio door i want to go out for a wee! Of course, i always make sure i do it just after the one-who-takes-me-for-a-walk-in-the-morning-and-is-not-so-bad-really has locked the doors and drawn the curtains. Actually, i prefer to be in the room-with-all-the-windows on my own, though i do like to lie where i can see them when they are in there - usually at the end of the couch (on the floor, not quite got the knack of sneaking onto the thing during daylight hours) though the tassles on the cover do tickle my ears as i peer out from underneath them. And what does 'very fetching' mean anyway? Just in case its another insult i always give them the evil eye when they say it.
Found something new to pick up when the-one-who-feeds-me finally came home today. Why can't he come in when i'm ready and mithering for him at 14:00 rather than 16:45 - he just shows no consideration and the one-who-has-put-that-lovely-soft-carpet-down-in-the-bathroom keeps saying words like 'give-over' and 'you'll have to wait' - wait is a concept i just don't recognise. Anyway, i'm wandering (well, i am an old lady now and can be excused everything, including the odd doggy-aroma) so back to the point. I grabbed the red, shiny plastic things that humans shove down the back of their feet just before going out and leaving me and rushed up to TOWFM as he bent down to undo his shoes, got my nose right in his eyeball then carried on and knocked him over, all the better to give him a good licking. Never tried that here before and it was such fun i decided i'd not even let him get in the bathroom to wash it all off.
Now on jungle-patrol twice a day - i'll need a machete soon to get across the field to the bridge and it does rather get my tummy wet and tickly. How the black and white frisky things can eat it i don't know. Actually, i seem to have put paid to them as they are no longer in my field and it's just the big-stately-old-ladies-with-the-pink-things-dangling-beneath who are in my field now. Maybe as i'm sometimes a stately old lady i could get some more paint on my coat, grab a rubber glove and just mingle........