Flight Tango Alpha Romeo Alpha destination Couch

TARA-14: This is Tango Alpha Romeo Alpha proceeding to the end of the runway ready for take off.Over
Doj Traffic Control: Proceed to launchrug 1. Over
TARA-14: Roger (who's he and what's he got to do with this?) . In position. Semi crouch engaged, auto-pilot locked on to dubious brown splodge on sheet on back of couch. Ready for take off.
Doj traffic control: Cleared for take 0f TARA-14. Over.
TARA-14: Roger (bloody hell, it's him again). Flaps (that's ear flaps) down, engaging rear engines, reserve thrust ready, opening throttle, moving forward, nose up, front feet up..........ABORT! ABORT! CAN'T GET REAR LEGS OFF THE GROUND! UNDERCARRIAGE JAMMED! Can't go up, can't go down!
Doj Traffic Control: Roger. Advise remedial action. Sag a bit, look pathetic, woof, woof again and go round the circuit for another go. We've assigned an escort to navigate you through the chairs, legs and tables........
TARA-14: Roger (no, it's not Roger, it's TOWFM - blogchesneysullenburger III). Rounding the table now, past the GM legs, back onto the launch rug..........flaps down, engaging rear engines, opening throttle, moving forward, nose up, YES! all legs up. Cruising nicely. Over and Out (well, not out, or at least not yet).