Scabby bits falling off all over the place

I go to all the exotic places you know - no skiing in the alps for me, I've been on a very exciting trip to...........Birmingham! And i was even allowed to go in the redvolvo (not the one with the smashed in bumper, thank goodness!) and we had an excursion to franklyservices where i was allowed to sit with the boot open and survey my public whilst TOWFM drank some very ickky-smelling caramel coffee. Then we went to see the nanandroger and i was allowed to have pieces of beef sliced off the joint especially for me - i'm definitely going there again! There was a funny ginger SBD there too and it tried to eat my T (it succeeded, tara - he'd eaten three pieces by the time you woke up - blogbrummai #1) but i just ignored it and carried on eating and the nan didn't mind that i got chicking'n'brownrice all over her nice white floor.

I've been bursting this week and have had to be latex-gloved on two fronts....well, actually on one one side and one neck rather than two fronts.......and have some extra -cute scabby hair standing up very nicely to scare off any casual patters there might be.

That space-hopper is still giving me gip and i'm now recovering from giving it a good savaging....life's very exciting here!

Wonder when i'm going home.........i've been here since last year

The Great Escape

What would Christmas Day be without the Great Escape? Actually this is my fourth attempt this week and so i'm now back in the cooler. I thought i'd made it on tuesday when i got as far as numbereleven and got brought back when someone said good luck to me and i answered back in the wrong language! I had managed to get onto the decking at the back though but it was a bit slippy and i got found out and brought back by the one in the TOWFM-uniform. After that the GM has barricaded off the exit from the patio but i've been patrolling the perimeter and found a way out - unfortunately the-one-who-fills-up-the-birdfood spotted me as she was washing up (no tara, i was watching the GM wash up - blogsupervisor #1) and I was hauled back in and put in the cooler again - but at least there was no motorbikes or barbed wire.
I lulled them into a false sense of security by joining in the present opening..........



.............then we went for a long stick-chasing walk and had beer and some crisps at the pub. And just as we came in and TOWFUTBF went inside and TOWFM took his eyes off me for just second and i menaged to get all the way to number11 again....but the alarm had gone up and i was captured and spent lunch in the cooler - actually it's quite comfy cooler when i think about it and looks a lot like my dotage........................

Zer iss no escape!

I'll have to brush up on my escape techniques - i thought it was every labradoj's duty to escape but the-one-who-stops-me-swimming-in-icy-water got the better of me today. I did a few feints but waited until the bridge to make a dash for the brook - only to realise that the reason TOWSMSIIW was walking very close with her hands outstretched was to grab me before i put on my burst of speed. Drat - have to think of another ruse next time. Anyway, at least i was allowed to walk the whole way home through the village without a lead on (that's because you can't move quick enough to run off tara - blogcolditzguard #1). And i got two bikkers when i got in and then lamb, roast potatoes, cabbage and gravy for my lunch.
I've just overheard TOWSMIIW tell the GM that TOWFM (who he?) had a labrador to do tonight......oh, i see, it's a lab report. Just as well really as i was wondering how i was going to get up to coventry in time.

Poo on the patio......

.......well, if they will get up very late on saturday who can blame me if i'm desperate and have to have my brekker before i go out (i can, tara, as i'm the one who had to clear it up - bloggm#1)!
It's been super-citing this weekend......TOWFM reappeared again! I'd forgotten who he was for a split second then it all came back to me. Not sure where he's gone now - as long as he doesn't turn up at 4:00 am again , ringing the door bell and letting all the cold air in but at least i got a settle-down-bikker out of it. And then the g'ma (no cake though) & g'pa came for lunch and i'm sure they got my portion as there were no scraps for me..........oh, well i suppose the piece of crackling does count as a scraps but it wasn't much!

Halibut and halitosis

I think i'll come here again (no chance, tara, we can't get rid of you in the first place - blogearscroacher#1) as we've had poached halibut for tea and i got the fishy-milky bit left over and the gelatinous bit next to the skid........and then at M time i got some more M then after being stinguished had a very very long doj-playtime (well, it was at least fifteen minutes before you flaked out again tara - blogmilkman#1) with Dog and managed to get my peasant wrapped up in my personalised j-cloth (you know the one they insist on having near my feeding station as they say i take my head away from my water bowl before i've finished drinking - as if!). Anyway, i'm either on enhanced rations or i'm here for the duration (pause for a meg-burp) as there's a huge bag of chicking'n'brownrice in the scullery.
Bin day tomorrow so i'm being tailed by the GM whenever i go out. Managed to escape on bin day last week and headed off up the close, then had a bit of a senior moment and forgot why i was walking up the road.....so turned off down the footpath into the field and headed for the bridge on my usual walk itinerary. I was really surprised when a movement caught my eye and i saw the GM through the hedge in the garden . So i barked at him just to cover up the embarrassment of being found wandering and then came home (slowly).......and remembered why i'd escaped in the first place when i saw the bins out, but by that time the GM was coming to meet me so i'd no change for a good smiff.
Rumour has it that the TOW-chappie (what's his name?) is back at the weekend..........with any luck my fishy-breath will still be in full swing by then....

World record high jumping

I wasn't trying to escape, honestly! I just seemed to find myself at the end of the drive heading up the road. How was i to know that it was time to go home and that all my stuff was in thevolvo and waiting to go - it wasn't until the GM came round the side of the house with a bikker (and we can see the exact moment when that happened, tara - blogbootpatter#1) that i thought i'd better get a move on and leap athletically all the way into the back of thevolvo. Anyway, i've found another good ruse this week to get into the bedroom and watch TOWTBigRV eat her breakfast - when i come upstairs in the morning (after the GM has give me my breakfast and i've been out for 10 seconds for a wee), if i lie against the airing cupboard door and do intermittent high-pitched barks it make a very nice loud rattling noise and gets me let in sooner. Who says they can't teach an old doj new tricks

Who?

They keep telling me that he's not here but i'm not sure who they are talking about. I know when i go upstairs in the morning and turn right there's always someone in there as i can hear the chink of cutlery on china (thought you liked to pretend you were deaf tara - blogbreakfastinbed #2) and so have to bark to make sure that i get let in to scavenge anything that might be going. I'm playing it quite cannily you know - just making it seem i'm not sure about coming in (you know, that crunkly-eared, pursed-lips, waggy-bottom look with sound effects) then head swiftly for the side of the bed where TOWTBigRV is scoffing her brekker. It paid off today as a speciakflake escaped and i pounced on it straight away.
Been keeping a low profile today too as some of Pte Sector's mates have been shelling me - not managed to hit me yet but they make lots of noise and it's a bit frikling.
I'm sure there used to be someone else here other than the GM (who's now on T, M and W duty) but unless he reappears soon i will have forgotten him altogether. Who will i have forgotten altogether? No idea, i've forgotten!